All but the Hard-Headest get Sick
by Taurus Versant
Summary: With most of Class 1-A in bed with colds, it's finally Bakugou's chance to get some real peace and quiet. Right? RIGHT?


Even with the passage of time, even with the manifestation of Quirks, even with every achievement humanity has made, there has been one enemy never truly bested. Evolving as we did it refused to bow, and returned to battle each and every year without fail.

Truly, one can only feel respect for the sheer tenacity with which the common cold persists. As vicious as ever it continued to plague humanity, even as their immune systems underwent such incredible variation due to the Quirks that filled the world. In the end, no-one is free. Not even the star class of U.A High. Mostly.

They say only idiots don't get sick, but that wouldn't explain why Kaminari was one of the most catatonic of them all. Indeed only three students of Class 1-A had escaped the cold currently rolling around. And while Recovery Girl had momentarily visited to ensure it was just a basic cold haunting them, there was no real reason for staff to wait around and care for the students. They'd just need to take it easy, relax and recover. That was the only prescription available.

Most of the students were holed up in their rooms, attempting to dive into sleep and escape their sickness. Some were having trouble all the same, complaining on a group chat board or simply trying to burn time until they were tired enough.

Some were far too stubborn for their own good.

"Oh what the _fuck_." Bakugou Katsuki's peaceful evening, being the only student in the common room on the bottom floor of Heights Alliance, was rudely interrupted by a loud hacking cough. He shot up out of the lounge he was reclining in to spot Yaoyorozu Momo practically plastered against the wall, cold mask over her face, eyes wide in shock. The two held a stand-off for a moment.

"I told you to stay the hell up in your room," he didn't take a step forward, not wanting to risk whatever bug was going about the students, but his glowering eyes definitely seemed to fill the room. "I ain't gonna wear a stupid mask while down here by myself, don't come down here and get your germs all over me."

"I..." she was incredibly quiet, the cold had clearly done a number on her throat, "wanted some soup."

"Then fucking ask," Bakugou's natural fury radiated across the room, upping the temperature ever so slightly. Not enough for Yaoyorozu to stop shivering though. "If something's so important you have to get it, then ask so I can at least not get sick getting it to you, got it?"

"That's..." she was totally on guard, watching him with her bleary eyes as best she could. Should be asleep, not walking around like this. Stupid bitch. "Kind of inappropriate asking you, isn't it?"

"Got a better idea?" Bakugou's natural response time made almost everything he said seem like he was snapping at people. The girl was definitely on edge, but at least it was keeping her awake. If she went lights out down here he was not in the mood to carry her back upstairs. "Deku's too useless to help you and..." he trailed off, Yaoyorozu switching from frowning – unseeable through her mask but obvious through her eyebrows – to nodding vigorously as Bakugou left the prospect of visitation from the third to escape hanging in the air. Not that. Anything but that.

"Good, now go the fuck back upstairs." Bakugou gestured at the kitchen area in a huff, "I'll bring you your stupid soup so you can drink it, go to sleep, and get out of my hair."

"... okay," she nodded, agreeing to the terms, perturbed all the same by Bakugou's apparent kindness. "It's the-"

"Pumpkin flavour I fucking know." Bakugou cut her off, walking off to the kitchen already, his book left lying on the couch. He hated being interrupted like this. She looked at him in shock.

"How did yo-"

"Because I'm not fucking blind and know you put like twenty packs of the goddamn stuff in the cupboards before," he cut her off again, completely uninterested in having this conversation. "Go the hell to your room." Finally she listened, finally she nodded and acquiesced, finally he was almost back on track to getting a moment's peace. Just had to get the stupid sick bitch her stupid soup and then he'd be free. No problem at all.

Why the hell did she even like this cheap stuff wasn't she some kind of rich princess or some shit? Bakugou didn't get it at all but whatever, he wasn't being paid to care. He wasn't being paid at all, except in pure peace and quiet which, truth be told, was the best thing anyone in his entire class could possibly give him. Loud and annoying assholes.

Anyway in no time at all he'd delivered the bowl up to her room – why the hell was she on the fifth floor, putting him through all that effort – and returned down to the common room. Finally he could return to getting his actual goddamn schoolwork done. Sick people didn't seem to care that the healthy students still had to do their damn studies. Rude and thoughtless the lot of them.

Of course then his phone went off.

* * *

 **Ashido:**  
yo Bakugou i heard youre doing room service  
i want some chocolates

* * *

Bakugou stared. The group chat had been set up by one of the others, and he'd muted it after the very first message came through. This shit didn't mean anything to him. Ats still went through though, just in case it was important enough to warrant. It wasn't like anyone had mentioned him before.

* * *

 **Ashido:**

come on quit holdin out im dyin up here

 **Bakugou:**

Go the fuck to sleep.

 **Ashido:**

no what cmon you did the soup run for Yaoyo you can totally bail me out

dont be an ass cmon dude

 **Midoriya:**

You brought soup up to Yaoyorozu?

* * *

Bakugou face-palmed. You do one nice thing for one person and then suddenly everyone in the goddamn world is on your dick for similar service. Lesson learned: never do anything nice. Ever.

* * *

 **Bakugou:**

I got her the soup to stop her coming down here and getting her germs all over the fucking place.

You know damn well there isn't any chocolate down here you're not getting shit.

Go to sleep.

 **Mineta:**

Wait but why does Bakugou get to go up to the girl's side? Why him?

 **Bakugou:**

Because I'm the only one who won't start quaking like a pubescent leaf or drooling like a fucking dog if I do.

 **Midoriya:**

That's not fair Kacchan...

 **Jirou:**

Yeah, dogs are likeable

 **Mineta:**

:(

 **Kirishima:**

harsh yo

 **Bakugou:**

WHY ARE YOU ALL AWAKE GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 **Iida:**

I concur!  
It is for the best that all of our class rest and recover in order to return to health as soon as possible!

 **Midoriya:**

Iida... you were asleep like ten minutes ago...

 **Iida:**

I... heard messages coming in.

* * *

In frustration Bakugou turned off his phone, prepared to throw it across the room, then just tossed it onto the couch. Best not actually break it. He could though. He could break a lot of things right now. It'd be great. He'd love it.

Best not to though. Dammit.

Ten minutes of actual good peace and quiet later, Bakugou felt confident in turning his phone back on. He was sure if he checked the group chat the last message would have been nine minutes ago of Iida finally convincing everyone to just give it up and go sleep. Yep, declaration of total peace, that's what he needed to see right now. He opened up the board.

* * *

 **Ashido:**

ughhhhhh

its so hot and cold at the same time

im opening a window

 **Bakugou:**  
DONT YOU FUCKING DARE

 **Ashido:**

oshit hes back

 **Bakugou:**  
That's how you get fucking pneumonia you idiot

Just deal with it and go to sleep.

 **Ashido:**

awwww i didnt think you cared

 **Midoriya:**

Kacchan's always been serious about pneumonia  
Bad experiences.

 **Bakugou:**

NO ONE NEEDS THE HISTORY LESSON DEKU

STOP FUCKING AROUND

 **Ashido:**

how do you set him off just by existing Mido

its unreal

 **Kirishima:**

hard to believe he's got such a motherly vibe when people are sick

 **Bakugou:**

Go. To. Sleep.

 **Ashido:**  
so Mido whats the actual deal

give us the deets

bedtime story

 **Bakugou:**  
DEKU

 **Midoriya:**

It's nothing major!

Kacchan had a bad cold when he was younger that turned into pneumonia.

But when he got over it his mother had it, so he spent a lot of time looking after her.

He always hated hearing about people having colds after that.

 **Bakugou:**  
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT

 **Ashido:**

why are you even mad that was super sweet

i kinda respect you a little more than i did before you should thank Mido

 **Jirou:**

"why are you even mad"

in reference to Bakugou

 **Ashido:**

shut up im sick

 **Bakugou:**

NOT ONE OF YOU SHOULD BE AWAKE RIGHT NOW

GO TO SLEEP AND GET OVER THIS FUCKING COLD ALREADY

 **Ashido:**

dude are you kidding

this is like

the best cure right here

bedtime stories from Mido about baby Bakugou

tell us another

 **Bakugou:**

I SWEAR TO FUCK

 **Kirishima:**

boy that phrase is fun to try and rationalise

 **Ashido:**

are you enjoyin storytime Kiri

 **Kirishima:**

can literally feel the sickness leaving my body because of it

 **Ashido:**

its clearing my skin

 **Kirishima:**

and watering my crops

 **Bakugou:**  
That's it

I'm turning this phone off

and not coming back.

You can all die on your own time. See if I care.

 **Ashido:**

awww nightynight kacchan

thanks for caring about us =)

* * *

"AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

 **Ashido:**

holy shit i heard that from up here

 **Kirishima:**

we should probably sleep

 **Ashido:**

night guys!

* * *

This time the phone would have actually hit the wall and exploded into pieces, had the wall not been right next to the entrance Midoriya came into the room from. He was quick, catching the phone out of the air. Anyone not-Bakugou would have been impressed.

A chilly moment hung in the air as Bakugou stared at him, yet in the end he simply made a non-committal noise and went back to reclining on the lounge. He didn't need this.

With very slow and careful steps Midoriya walked past the lounge, heading towards the kitchen area. He stopped besides the table with Bakugou's books on them and, without turning his head to look at the other at all, reached down and put the phone atop it. Then he moved on.

Bakugou said nothing.

Shortly after, Mineta entered the room too, following Midoriya. A brief moment of eye contact between him and Bakugou, as Bakugou caught the tiny prick looking up at him, and then Mineta averted his head and hurried into the kitchen area as well. Weak.

The sounds of food being prepared could be heard, mingling with low voices of the two discussing. They didn't leave though, and didn't get loud enough to annoy Bakugou, so whatever. He didn't care. Eventually the sound of cleaning began, followed by Midoriya finally exiting the room. He sighed and leaned against the wall, looking slightly lost. He'd spent all afternoon running around helping everyone on the males' side of the building – what he got for being such a wishy-washy nice guy. Run off his feet. Deserved it.

"I take it everyone's fucking finally settled down?" Midoriya jumped as Bakugou spoke up, but nodded moments after.

"I'm pretty sure they're all asleep now," he confirmed that peace and quiet were finally going to settle in for the evening, "Just the three of us left."

A moment of silence hung in the air after that, and Bakugou raised himself slightly off the couch to get a better view of the kitchen area. It looked empty. Following his gaze, Midoriya turned and looked in there too. Another silent moment.

From the direction of the girls' side of the building, the sound of the lift doors closing echoed out.

Much of what Bakugou Katsuki did could be called explosive, but it would be no false statement to describe the first moment of movement from both Midoriya and himself as such. Each was out the front doors to Heights Alliance in seconds, curving around the building to the girls' side in moments more. The lift was in use and the stairs too slow, this was fastest. This was best. That, they both knew in an instant.

Were Bakugou less focused on this, he'd invest some energy being furious that Deku was matching his pace. No time for that though. None at all.

A roar of explosions from his palms sent him flying up into the sky, Midoriya gaining similar height with the power of his own Quirk. They passed the second floor – empty –, third floor – check last –, and were in the processing of passing the fourth floor when Bakugou stuck a leg out into Midoriya's back, forcing him to land on one of the balconies as he reached one higher. That was better.

From the outside verandas each could force the door open, cross through the empty room, and shove its door open as well. The middle two rooms were empty on each floor all the way up, making it all too easy to not intrude. And once in the corridor they'd know in seconds if Mineta was there. The fifth was clear, and with a loud "'tch" Bakugou leaped back outside, swinging down to the third floor.

Deku was on the veranda right next to the one he'd landed on, meaning the fourth had been clear as well. Through the outside and then inside doors they burst, appearing in the third floor corridor in less than a minute since first bursting into action.

Such was the response time of these heroes in training.

From an open door to their right an extremely loud scream rang out. Each rounded on that doorway, taking a menacing step forward. This ended now.

Crawling backwards, eyes widened in horror, Mineta Minoru emerged from the room, scrambling to move as fast as he could. After him shambled a corpse-like figure, something vaguely resembling less Jirou Kyouka and more an avatar of death. It reached out a quaking hand to Mineta and he was gone as fast as he could, scrambling past Midoriya and Bakugou, jumping into the lift at the end of the hall, and slamming the buttons until the doors shut. He was gone.

Midoriya and Bakugou stared. Slowly Jirou's head raised, slowly a small smile crossed her face. She raised a hand, wiped away some of the powder she'd used to make herself look even sicker than she was, then turned and entered her room, closing the door. That had gone well.

Honestly, Bakugou couldn't help but smile at a move like that. She'd really put the fear of death into that tiny asshole. Nice one.

And it was only then that the floating phone right next to his head went noticed. Rounding on it with a 'what the fuck' on his lips, Bakugou wasn't able to fully process what exactly had gone down as it disappeared into the open door behind him, that door slamming shut. What the hell was...?

He turned his head back and Deku was looking at his fucking phone. Wait. Had they just...?

"Deku give me that!" Ignoring any attempts from Midoriya to not surrender the phone, Bakugou wrenched it out of his hand and looked at just what was so goddamn interesting right now.

* * *

 **Hagakure:**

Rare picture of the elusive smiling Bakugou

[1 Image Attached]

 **Ashido:**

omg

 **Kirishima:**

that's precious yo

 **Jirou:**

print it out and put a copy in the common room

 **Ashido:**  
YES

 **Kirishima** :

YES

* * *

"GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKS!"

Were anyone to be outside this late at night, were they to be looking up at Heights Alliance from the correct angle, they might see a brief flash of light, a jet of smoke rush out a veranda door, and hear one loud, anguished cry.

"NO MY PHONE!"


End file.
